Keep a running list of what you appreciate about people, who they are as well as what they did, and start telling them, one person this week.
The idea
We all carry mental files on people: what we appreciate about them, the traits we admire. Most of us keep those files locked, assuming people already know or worrying it'll come off weird. University of Chicago researchers found that people who wrote genuine compliments underestimated how good recipients would feel and overestimated how awkward it would be, and gratitude letters showed the same pattern. We hold back because we've got the math wrong. And kind words don't get stale: an experiment found no sign that recipients tire of repeated compliments.
How to do it
Start a running list. After meetings, calls, or while scrolling your contacts, jot down what you appreciate about people.
Include who they are (their honesty, their creativity, the way they ask good questions), beyond what they did for you, which is gratitude.
This week, pick one person from the list and tell them, by text, email or out loud.
It might feel odd at first. Do it anyway.
Example
On a call with someone I've known for years, I realized I'd never told them what I admired about them, so I paused and said it: they have a rare ability to make people feel like they matter. Of course they smiled and said they really appreciated it.
Script
"Hey, I was thinking about you and wanted you to know..."
Watch out for
The worry about sounding weird is your brain being overprotective, keeping you with what's comfortable and boring.