Say what you want, how long it takes and why them, and build in an easy out so that "no" is safe.
The vague ask feels safer to send because you aren't risking a real no. From the other side it reads as someone who hasn't thought it through, or wants a blank check on their time. A clear ask is a gift: it respects their time and makes it easy to answer. Make "no" safe too. Vague asks create awkward obligation, so people don't reply at all. A specific ask with a real out gets more responses, even when the answer is no, and a no with a referral or a "not now" is far more useful than silence.
Every ask should include:
In one month I got "can I pick your brain," "let's grab coffee and connect," and "let's jump on a quick call soon." I said yes to none of them. I do want to help, but they gave me no topic, no timeframe and no sense of what they actually needed.
"I'm exploring a pivot into product management and would love 20 minutes to hear how you made a similar move. Totally understand if this isn't the right fit."
"I know we haven't caught up in ages, and I'm reaching out because..."
"If it's not a weird ask, would you be open to introducing me to Sarah? Totally fine if the timing isn't right or it doesn't make sense."