Second-Degree Dinners

hosting and gatherings · tactic

Co-host a dinner with one other person and each invite your own guests, so half the room is new to each host.

The idea

Hosting runs into two walls. It's intimidating (no matter how many times I do it, I still have social anxiety), and you only know so many people. A second-degree dinner fixes both. Pair up with one other person and each of you curates your own half of the invite list. The anxiety is shared between two hosts, and because you're pulling from two networks, half or more of the guests are new to each of you. It's also a quiet way to make your network more diverse, since your co-host's people don't look like a copy of yours. This is now my default event. The name comes from Nat Eliason's post; I'd been doing it for a couple of years before someone sent it to me.

How to do it

  1. Pick a co-host who knows a lot of people you don't.
  2. Each of you invites three people from your own network.
  3. Bring a couple of opening questions so the table has somewhere to start (see table-prompts).

Example

Back in The Before Times I used to invite five or six people to breakfast at my favorite coffee shop on Friday mornings. Then two young kids ended any chance of me getting downtown by 8 AM. So it became dinner. Guests have a great time and ask to be invited back, and I still have the nerves and the same limited list of people, which is where co-hosting came in.

Sources

Relatable: Relatable's dinner series routine keeps past guests in one place and links people who met at the table, so the next invite list doesn't just repeat the last one. How-to: Running a recurring dinner series, Link related contacts and message them together.

Related frameworks

Read next

By Zvi Band. Newsletter: Your Network Starts with You. Book: Success Is in Your Sphere.