Give quick genuine hellos across the room, then go deep with one or two people you picked in advance.
The idea
Picture your event strategy as the letter T. The horizontal bar is quick hellos to lots of people; the vertical bar is going deep with one or two. Most people spend the whole night on the horizontal and end up with a pile of superficial conversations, which create superficial relationships. Depth beats breadth in relationship-building.
How to do it
Before: look at the attendee list and pick one or two people you're genuinely curious about.
During: give yourself permission to be selectively social. Quick hellos are fine. Protect your energy for the deep conversations, in a quieter corner, over coffee away from the crowd, or on a walk outside.
After: the attendee list becomes your outreach list. Seeing someone at the event is the excuse to have the real conversation later, on your terms.
Example
I walk into an event and my brain starts playing mental Tetris: there's Michael, Katherine is here, I need to catch up with Jennifer. For years I tried to connect with everyone so nobody felt left out. Spoiler: that was a disaster.
Script
"So good to see you, let's catch up properly soon." "Great seeing you at the conference last week. Would love to actually catch up properly."
Watch out for
FOMO and guilt about walking past people. They're probably doing the same mental math, and a quick genuine hello beats a forced three-minute conversation neither of you will remember.
Make One Friend: Your one goal at a networking event is to make a friend, because referrals come from knowing, trusting and liking each other.
The Bridge Strategy: At overwhelming events, pick two or three people and move the conversation somewhere calmer later, with one easy line.
Depth Over Breadth: A network's strength is how many people would form a human chain around you when you're down, so go deeper with the people you already know.
Conference Before, During, After: Before: goal, target list, booked meetings, host a dinner. During: scribble notes. After: half a day within 48 hours to follow through.