Ask whether you'd say yes if they asked to borrow $20, then flip it: who would lend you $20?
The idea
We're connected to more people than ever, and some of them are pretty chatty. A tiny, concrete question cuts through it. $20 (as opposed to $20,000) isn't enough to break a sweat over, but it still gives you pause. What it really asks is what you value in a relationship, enough that you'd help without hesitating. If someone doesn't pass even that simple test, that tells you something useful.
How to do it
Open your address book and pull up a random contact.
Ask: "If they reached out and asked to borrow $20, would I say yes?"
Spend more time with the people who pass.
Now flip it: who would lend you $20 if you needed it?
If you're connected to thousands but few with depth beyond an occasional like or retweet, ask what you can do to change that.
Example
Say you pull up a former colleague and your answer is an instant yes. Then you pull up someone who messages you constantly, and you hesitate. Both answers tell you where your time should go. (And I mean US dollars. Canadian dollars aren't real.)
The Grocery Store Test: If you saw them at the end of the cereal aisle, would you run over to hug them, or hide behind the Frosted Flakes?
A/B/C Spheres: Sort everyone into three tiers by gut feeling (love, like, don't know) and spend more time on A's than B's, and more on B's than C's.
Depth Over Breadth: A network's strength is how many people would form a human chain around you when you're down, so go deeper with the people you already know.
Connection Over Value: Choose who to stay close to by who you genuinely like, not who seems important, because liking is what makes you actually reach out.