When you reach out to your sphere, talk about anything except your business. Show you care, and skip the reminder of what you sell.
The idea
In my coaching, where most members were real estate agents, there was one recurring "don't." We'd quiz people on it: when you reach out to your sphere, what's the ONE thing you don't talk about? Real estate. Swap in your own industry. Ask about their thoughts, feelings and opinions, and find a way to show you care.
How to do it
Before sending, run the care test: am I just sharing information, or just reminding them what I do? How does this show I care?
Talk about them: thoughts, feelings, opinions, what they're up to.
Show care in plain ways: remember a date, congratulate a win, invite them to something, offer help, share a book.
Example
John Corcoran, one of the best connectors I know, met the co-owner of a big software company at a conference, a company he hoped to partner with someday. They never talked business. It came out that both of their sons played little league, so they spent the conversation on travel teams, and John shared what he'd learned managing it as the kids' schedules got busier. The same goes for reconnecting with someone you already like: no pitch, no agenda, just "Hey! You popped into my head today. How are you?"
The Helper Mindset: Before reaching out, ask whether the message just shares information or reminds them what you do, or whether it actually shows you care.
Scrollbacks: Scroll back months in your texts, stop on someone you like, send "just thinking of you," and do exactly three.
Filter and Sort: Filter to one tier, sort by last contacted with the oldest first, and reach out to the names at the top without cherry-picking.
The Smooch: The smallest possible touchpoint, and the one I've seen work best: 'Hey! You came to mind this morning. Hope you're doing well!'