Run coffee meetings on two questions: what are you working on, and what's your biggest challenge? Then make a specific offer.
The idea
I don't drink coffee (I order the hot water with dried leaves in it), yet I have a LOT of coffee meetings. In the book I described running them on three questions: what someone is working on, their major challenges, and how I could help. The first two get past pleasantries to what's on someone's plate, and that's where the chance to help shows up. The newsletter calls "How can I help?" lazy and broad, so listen to the first two answers and make a specific offer instead. And check whether coffee is even the right format. It has become a reflex, and 45 minutes of half-networking, half-auditioning isn't how people become close. A walk, their favorite spot or a coworking session often does more.
How to do it
Ask what they're working on right now: projects, hiring, a move, a new routine.
Ask about their biggest challenges.
While they talk, ask yourself: Who do I know who might be a great resource? What have I read that could help?
Make a concrete offer, like an intro or something to read. You can also ask who they're trying to meet.
Close by recapping the to-dos you promised. Then do them.
Example
Most of what comes out of my coffee meetings is introductions. My advice is one data point, so the most useful thing I can usually do is connect them to my network. Someone starting a public advocacy company gets connected to people I know at consulting firms that focus on nonprofits. Someone whose prototype is showing signs of life may get an intro to the CFO or corporate counsel I've worked with for years.
Script
"What are you working on?" (adapted)
"What are your biggest challenges right now?" (adapted)
Better Than "Anything I Can Help With?": Retire "How can I help?" and "What's up?" Ask about their biggest challenge, what you'll celebrate a year from now, or who they want to meet.
Don't Ask, Know: Instead of asking how to help, review their goals, industry, hiring, life events and news, then show up with something specific.
Side by Side: Trust grows fastest through shared experience, so add an activity, like a walk, a game or a hot sauce challenge, to plain conversation.
The Double Opt-In Introduction: Ask both people before connecting them, give a specific reason, and only make introductions both would thank you for.