Build a relationship system around your natural behavior and energy. The more it's you, the more likely you'll keep doing it.
The idea
Find what works for you. The more it's you, the more likely you'll do it. Don't do something just because a book or an annoying newsletter author (not me, right?) told you to. I've watched people stay in touch in very different ways: the realtor sending dozens of quick texts a week as people come to mind, the founder you don't hear from for months until a half-day hike invite, the coach who sends a handwritten card every day. Comparison thinking will drain you faster than bad tacos. In my coaching our word for copying the agents around you was simple: "STOP IT." As Dolly Parton put it: "Find out who you are and do it on purpose."
How to do it
Ask: am I better off blocking time every day, or reaching out to people as they come to mind?
Ask: do I enjoy short, brief exchanges, or would I rather go deeper, infrequently?
Ask: where is my connective energy highest? A coffee meeting, a webcam, a dinner table?
Track the details you actually want to remember about people, and ignore the rest.
For one week, only do the types of outreach you enjoy. Watch what happens.
Example
I used to attend real estate sales meetings where someone would stand up with a "game-changing" tactic and 30 agents would frantically write it down. Attend 30 of those a year and you leave with an impossible list of "I should..." For me, sit me down at a coffee meeting or a dinner table and we'll have a great conversation. Put me in a banquet hall with 80s music and I'm about as exciting as the chair in the corner.
Do Less of the Task: If you resist a relationship task, shrink it instead of skipping it. The easier the work, the more likely you'll repeat it.
Connection Over Value: Choose who to stay close to by who you genuinely like, not who seems important, because liking is what makes you actually reach out.
The Introvert Playbook: Find your social power zones, prepare ahead, peel people off into calmer follow-ups, or skip the room and become the host.
The One-Year Test: Before writing a note about someone, ask what you'll want to remember about them next year. Write one thing, maybe two, then stop.