Transactional relationships end when the exchange does. Generative ones are long-term, uneven and keep creating new value, so they deserve your tracking and care.
The idea
Most interactions are transactional, and that's fine: eight bucks for a matcha, done. In transactional relationships, 1+1=2. Generative relationships create new value, unevenly in both time and amount. You help an old colleague think through a career change and nobody sends a Venmo request; the return may come later, if at all, maybe as an introduction that leads to millions in sales. In generative relationships, 1+1=infinity. As Naval Ravikant says, "Play long term games with long term people."
How to do it
After your next meeting, ask: were we here just to finish a task, or is there more potential?
If it's the latter, write it down somewhere. Your memory won't hold it for years.
Don't burn the bridge when someone's immediate value disappears (they move, switch careers, or the deal dies).
My rule: the opportunity can end. The person still gets a message.
Example
I worked on an investment deal with someone I'd known for years. The deal fell through, which is normal. Then he went silent, and I later learned he did the same to everyone else involved. Years of relationship wiped out by a few months of negotiation. I think of a relationship as a whirlpool that keeps spinning year after year, and a transaction as an arrow from start to closed. The mistake is letting the transaction become the only thing that matters.
Watch out for
Labeling everyone generative. It's fine to let some relationships stay transactional.
Relatable: I'm obviously biased, but this is what I built Relatable for: tracking the people you've decided are worth years of attention. A spreadsheet works too. How-to: Create and organize spheres.
Related frameworks
Positive Imbalance: Generosity that isn't immediately repaid strengthens bonds, so skip the instant quid pro quo and let the scales stay uneven for a while.
Deals Die, People Don't Have To: A transaction is an arrow that ends; a relationship is a whirlpool that keeps turning. When a deal dies, the person still gets a message.
Divorce the Action From the Result: You control the outreach, never the reply or the result, so judge yourself on whether you reached out and how well you swung.
Connection Over Value: Choose who to stay close to by who you genuinely like, not who seems important, because liking is what makes you actually reach out.