Set intentions about who you are and how you show up in your relationships, backed by a plan, instead of resolutions you'll drop by February.
The idea
I love the end of the year. It's a time to pause, look back and map out how I want to show up next. Resolutions often get abandoned by February. Intentions are about how you want to show up in the world and in your relationships: who you are and how you connect with others. In my book I paired that with a blunt line: "Resolutions are meaningless. Strategic plans win." The intention says how you want to show up, and a plan puts it on your calendar.
How to do it
Pick a few relationship intentions. Some I've suggested:
- Be present. Phone away, not even face down. - Listen more than you speak. - Reach out to someone in your network every week: a quick check-in, a note of congratulations, a message of support. - Express gratitude regularly. - Be open to new connections.
Back it with a plan. If it isn't scheduled, it won't get done, so put the time on a recurring calendar appointment.
Example
The book opens the strategy chapter on New Year's Eve: cheap cava, fresh intentions for the year. Then January 1 arrives and it's "tomorrow," then next week, then next month, while the gym membership card hangs unused off the keychain.
Watch out for
Writing an outcome as your goal. A planning worksheet from my coaching flagged "15% more in GCI" as an outcome. Set goals around the actions you can repeat.
The CAPITAL Strategy: Seven linked steps for building relationship capital: C (Consistent execution), A (Aggregate), P (Prioritize), I (Investigate), T (Timely engagement), A (Add value), L (Leverage).
The Recurring Calendar Appointment: Pick a regular time based on your energy and calendar gaps, make it a recurring appointment, and defend it.
Falling Off the Wagon: When you lapse, give yourself grace, drop the backlog, and restart right away with one tiny action, like a single email.
Start With Why - Set Your Relationship Goals: Before building any system, decide what you want from your relationships and why. Opportunities, retention, referrals, a brand, or simply feeling good.