Check every touchpoint, gift or event three ways: will they remember it, does it connect to what they care about, does it actually improve their life?
The idea
Every engagement should pass three checks. Meaningful: it matters enough to them that they'll appreciate it and remember it. Relevant: it ties to something they care about (ideally something you care about too). Valuable: they're genuinely better off for it. In my coaching the banner read "Meaningful, Relevant, Authentic," the same three words I used in a 2024 post on the worst gift I ever got. What makes all three work is knowing the person. Even a sliver of personalization lands harder, because we all want to be known.
How to do it
Before you send anything, pull up what you know about them and the details that could make it personal.
Run the three checks: will they remember it, does it relate to what they care about, are they better off for it?
If it fails a check, change it.
Example
A couple of years ago a surprise box arrived: a gift basket of "artisanal" snacks nobody in my house would eat, every item glued to the others so it would look good on Instagram. I spent 15 minutes rage-peeling it apart. A small donation to a charity they care about, a book that made a difference in your life with a note on why, or a heartfelt call would have done far more.
Watch out for
Bigger isn't better. I've gone overboard before (helicopter rides, mariachi bands). I rarely think that's needed.
Add Value, Don't Just Follow Up: Nobody wants to be followed up with. Treat the follow-up as your cue, and make the touch leave the other person better off.
Gift as Artifact, Not Advertisement: A good gift creates shared history and reminds them of you every time they use it, so leave your logo off.
Remember Me or Represent Me?: Before sending a gift, ask whether it's meant to help them remember you or to represent your brand; only the first builds the relationship.
The Pre-Send Checklist: Before you send, ask what you want them to feel, whether you need a reply, how you'd react getting it, and whether you'd be proud passing them in the hall.