Before you send, ask what you want them to feel, whether you need a reply, how you'd react getting it, and whether you'd be proud passing them in the hall.
The idea
Most of the anxiety around a message is about the reply. I ask myself, and our coaching clients, whether we even need one. As Maya Angelou put it, people will never forget how you made them feel. A few questions before you press Send put the focus on the feeling you deliver.
How to do it
Before you send a message, a text or even a gift, ask:
"What do I want them to feel when they get this from me?" Appreciated? Like calling you? Seeing you as the expert?
"Do I need a response to this?" Often you don't. Say so (No Need To Respond).
Picture receiving it yourself. How would you respond?
For marketing that goes to a lot of people: if you saw them walking down the hall right after they read it, would you be proud of it?
"Can I ignore my fears about what might or might not happen, and focus on delivering the best outreach possible?"
Then send. Afterward, review it with Sent, Seen, Felt.
Example
You press Send, check five minutes later (internet must be slow), an hour later (dentist appointment?), a day later (vacation?), and a week later decide they hate you. Whenever our coaching groups talk about reaching out, this scenario is guaranteed to come up. The second question is my answer to it.
Watch out for
These questions are about one message going unanswered. If many attempts across channels over a long stretch get nothing, there are other people who are eager to hear from you.
Sent, Seen, Felt: Before every send, review your last one: what you sent, who clicked and replied, and whether they felt what you meant.
No Need To Respond: End check-ins with "no need to respond." Taking away the obligation makes people feel cared for, and they reply more often.
Divorce the Action From the Result: You control the outreach, never the reply or the result, so judge yourself on whether you reached out and how well you swung.
Meaningful, Relevant, Valuable: Check every touchpoint, gift or event three ways: will they remember it, does it connect to what they care about, does it actually improve their life?