Ask "Is it OK if I take notes?" at the start of a meeting. It signals you care enough to remember and follow through.
The idea
In the book I described opening every meeting by asking permission to take notes. The question adds value on its own: it tells the other person you care enough to follow through and won't forget what you discussed. My practice has changed since: I don't take meeting notes myself anymore. A meeting recorder captures the transcript and action items so I can stay present, and I write my own short notes on how the conversation felt afterward (see emotional-metadata-notes). The question still fits any meeting where you'll be writing things down.
How to do it
At the start, ask before you write anything.
Say why: you want the meeting to be worth their time.
If a screen would be distracting or out of place, use a notepad. It's a transparent way to show you're focused. (At Contactually we had a no-device policy for most meetings.)
Then earn it: do what you said you'd do.
Example
These days I use a meeting recorder in every meeting I'm in, and I even carry a physical one that I use from time to time. It lets me be fully present, instead of acting as a court stenographer with the handwriting of a three-year-old.
Script
"Mind if I take notes? I want to make sure this is useful for both of us." (adapted)
Relatable: My recorder sends its summary into Relatable, attached to the people who were in the meeting. Any recorder plus a notes file works too. How-to: Bring meeting notes in with a meeting recorder.
Related frameworks
Notes the Recorder Can't Take: Let AI keep the transcript, then spend two minutes on four questions: how you feel, when their energy shifted, your energy, what to remember.
The Presence Advantage: Presence is scarce, so it stands out: phone away, let AI take notes, listen without preparing a reply, ask one more follow-up, let pauses sit.
Capture, Summarize, Act: Capture next steps and personal details, condense them soon after, delete the rest, then act on the next steps and file the keepers.