Pick the people you've been avoiding, send each a simple hello right now, and notice the dread was worse than the reply.
The idea
One of my favorite questions for coaching clients is "Who have you been avoiding talking to?" Even with just their head and shoulders on camera, I can watch their whole body squirm. That squirm is a gateway. It's often past clients, failed deals, tense vendor relationships. The stories keeping us away ("they're too busy for me," "I have nothing to offer," "it's been so long") turn out to be just stories. It works like exposure therapy. Doing the thing you dread is what shrinks the dread.
How to do it
Write down three people you'd feel weird reaching out to.
Pick one. Don't plan the perfect message.
Text or email them now. Just say hi and that they came to mind.
If you freeze, name what you're feeling, count down 5-4-3-2-1, and send.
Notice what comes back, or the lack of any disaster.
Example
A client hadn't spoken with one of their largest clients in two years, because the CEO had died during the pandemic and they didn't want to seem salesy. I made them send a message right then and there. Another time, at the end of a group session on this, one participant announced she had just reached out to her mother, after nearly 20 years. I was completely unready for something that big.
Script
"Hi! You came to mind recently and I wanted to say hello." (adapted)
Second Thought, First Action: You can't control the first fearful thought about reaching out. You own the second thought and the first action.
The Awareness Drill: Type the message, pause before sending, name the fears that come up, then count down from five and send.
It's Never Been Too Long: Relationships have no expiration date. After any gap, assume they'll be happy to hear from you, and reach out with no agenda.
The Out-of-the-Blue Apology: Sometimes the best maintenance is repair: reach out, even years later, and apologize for the thing that still nags at you.