Helping lights up the brain's reward centers, so never asking for help denies the people who care about you a genuine feel-good moment.
The idea
People genuinely want to help. When someone helps us, it triggers the same reward centers in their brain as receiving money or eating good food. So when you never ask, you deny someone a natural feel-good moment, and relationships need to be two-way streets to survive. Flip it around: if someone you respect asked you for help with something specific and doable, would you be annoyed? You'd probably feel honored they trusted you. Why assume they feel differently?
How to do it
Keep two or three specific asks ready before any networking conversation.
Make each one concrete: a person to meet, feedback on a project, a recommendation.
When someone asks how they can help, give one of them instead of "oh, nothing right now."
When you're the one who's down, reach out. The network is there for you too.
Example
On a coaching call, a client told me how much she loved making introductions, sending resources and being helpful. Then I asked when she'd last reached out for help herself. She froze. I do this too: when my confidence dips, I make the whole conversation about the other person and only share what I need if someone pushes. Most people won't push.
Script
"I'm looking to connect with heads of HR at medium-sized tech companies in Boston."
"Do you know anyone who...?" is enough to start.
Watch out for
Vague asks like "I'm looking for leads." The more specific the request, the easier it is to say yes.