The second A in CAPITAL. Make each touchpoint meaningful, relevant and valuable, size it to the relationship, and deliver it personally, by connecting, by hosting or by broadcasting.
The idea
By this point in CAPITAL you've gathered your sphere, prioritized it, learned about people and found a reason to reach out. Then comes the freeze: what do I say? I'd rather you ask a different question: what value can I deliver? People do business with people they know and people they find valuable, and value is what builds mindshare. The bar rises with the size of any future ask. A wave on the street takes very little. Being remembered when they need your service takes more. Asking them to put their reputation on an intro for you takes the most.
How to do it
Decide how you want them to feel when it arrives: appreciated, seeing you as an expert, wanting to call.
Use what you learned about them (the I in CAPITAL) to make it personal.
Size the effort to their priority. See Match Investment to Tier.
Pick the format: one-to-one, an introduction, a gathering or a broadcast. Start one-to-one.
Figure out what everyone else does here, then do something different.
Press Send. Something beats nothing.
Example
Elan and I were in the same loose circles in college, nothing more. The day before a trip to Chicago, I emailed him that I'd be in town and asked if he wanted to say hi. I swung by his office for a few minutes. Months later he visited DC, I mentioned a couple of hires we couldn't fill, and he introduced me to the perfect candidate, someone I'd never have found otherwise. My business looks different today because of an email I dashed off while packing.
Watch out for
Cheap and constant degrades the relationship. A plain "checking in" every 6-12 months is fine; the same note to your whole sphere every month is scorched earth.
The CAPITAL Strategy: Seven linked steps for building relationship capital: C (Consistent execution), A (Aggregate), P (Prioritize), I (Investigate), T (Timely engagement), A (Add value), L (Leverage).
The Four Experiences: Add value one-to-one, by introducing people, by hosting groups, or by broadcasting to many. The personal experience is always where you start.
Meaningful, Relevant, Valuable: Check every touchpoint, gift or event three ways: will they remember it, does it connect to what they care about, does it actually improve their life?
Match Investment to Tier: Every touch costs different time and money, so spend dinners and gifts on your top tier and lighter touches on larger groups.