Thank someone months or years later for an intro or referral, say what it led to, and attach no ask.
Most of us are decent at the immediate thank-you. Almost nobody thanks someone a year later, and gratitude has no expiration date. A late, unexpected thank-you reinforces how they see you, signals what you value, shows you think long-term, and creates a genuinely good feeling. Social exchange theory, from researchers like George Homans and Peter Blau, holds that relationships are built on exchanges of value, and research shows delayed reciprocation creates stronger bonds than immediate tit-for-tat. And it's one of the easiest reasons to get back in touch.
Reviewing my contact database one week, I found a note about an introduction made three years earlier that led to one of our most significant client relationships. Rather than regret the years of silence, I saw an opportunity: gratitude doesn't expire. In my coaching we had agents thank people who referred them 3, 6 or 12 months (or years) earlier. A text, call or email is plenty.
"Hey! Was just reviewing my records and remember you (referred Zvi to me). Just want to let you know I really appreciated it." "I was thinking about that introduction you made to Sarah last spring. Just wanted you to know it led to one of our biggest clients this year. Still grateful." Don't like my wording? Have ChatGPT rewrite it in your voice. Keep it free of any ask.