Gratitude answers all three questions: who to contact, when, and what to say. List who helped with each win and act on it.
The idea
Everyone who works on relationships struggles with three questions: who should I prioritize, when should I reach out, and what should I say? Gratitude answers all three. Prioritize the people you're grateful for. Reach out immediately, and again any time later. Say thank you. Most gratitude journals list what you're grateful for. Extend yours to who.
How to do it
Pick your last three wins (deals, hires, opportunities).
For each, write down three people you're grateful for. On a sale that might be whoever referred you, the other side's agent, the inspector, the lender.
Next to each name, write what you'll do about it: a separate thank-you, a call, a handwritten note, a small gift, an update when it closes.
Do the immediate ones today. Put reminders in for the later ones: a month, a year, ten years. You're the one who never forgets them.
Skip the cash. Expect nothing back.
Example
In my coaching we turned this into the Gratitude Map worksheet: three transactions in the first column, three people per transaction in the second, the action in the third. Fill it in and you have a clear list of actions. Then we had them write the last six people who'd sent them a referral, and pick three things they could do for those people right away.
Watch out for
Notice what comes your way through other people. Every message, referral or small gesture someone makes on your behalf is a seed of opportunity, and a reason to say thanks.
The Three Questions: The whole system in miniature: who should I talk to, when should I talk to them, and what can I do to maintain the relationship?
Delayed Gratitude: Thank someone months or years later for an intro or referral, say what it led to, and attach no ask.
The Friday Close-the-Loop Ritual: Every Friday, spend five minutes asking what good thing happened this week and who you have to thank for it, then send one message.
Say Thank You: A thank-you closes the loop, shows you valued it, gives you another touchpoint and lifts you both; name exactly what their help led to.