Name the habit, make it tiny, ramp up slowly, calendar it, anchor it, add a carrot or stick, and get someone to hold you accountable.
The idea
At the end of my 12-week coaching program we showed members how we'd built their habits the whole time. The recipe had seven ingredients. The contrast slide showed what most people try instead: setting a New Year's resolution and announcing they'll do something regularly. Our caption was "lol." Our five-word version, from Week 11 of Foundations, was: uncomplicate, precommit, associate, carrot, accountable.
How to do it
State it clearly. Name it as a new habit you're building.
Break it down. Turn it into something very simple.
Start small and ramp up.
Put it in your calendar and respect the time.
Attach it to something you already do.
Add a carrot or a stick. A reward after, or something at stake.
Get held accountable by someone else.
Example
A typical commitment statement from the program: "After I send one email to someone in my sphere, I will organize five contacts." Members wrote theirs out, posted them by their desks, and texted our team each day when they'd done it. The money stick was real, too: members could prepay an accountability budget and earn it back by completing tasks. Completion with it was 70.63%; without, 44.77%.
Watch out for
Changing the habit mid-week. Keep it the same all week, even if it's hard.
The Association Hack: Attach five minutes of relationship work to something you already do every day, like your first coffee, so the old habit triggers the new one.
Accountability Partners: Turn your solo networking block into a recurring session with one or two people doing the same work, because you'll keep promises to them.
Reward Yourself: Relationship work pays off months or years later, so give yourself a small immediate reward right after you do it.