People work with people they know, like and trust. Trust comes from shared context, previous engagement and endorsements from people already trusted.
The idea
People prefer to work with those they know, like and trust, and trust is the foundation of every working relationship. It comes from shared context. A mutual friend gives you some ("if Ashley trusts him, he must be alright"). So do shared communities, identities and values; psychologists call our pull toward similar people homophily. James Coleman found that merchants in New York's wholesale diamond market hand each other bags of stones to inspect with no real insurance, because family and community ties do the work. Shared experiences are stronger still, and the more intense, the tighter the bond. In my coaching we called this humanist engagement: leaning into empathy, care and experiences, because trust comes from commonalities, previous engagement and endorsement from someone already trusted.
How to do it
Look for shared context first: mutual people, communities, interests.
Add an activity. Trust builds faster side by side than face to face. Even walking with your coffee beats sitting.
Make the experience a little memorable. The more unusual, the better.
Bring it back up later ("went back to that restaurant we tried, still terrible!").
Example
I can go years without talking to my fraternity brothers and pick right back up, because we went through freshman pledging together. I'm too old for hazing and most people I want to know can't handle ghost peppers, so I've hosted hot sauce competitions in my office instead. Shared experience plus a little shared pain. Nobody has forgotten those.
Watch out for
Leading with data, statistics or telling people you're good at what you do. None of it drives trust.
The Chain of Trust: Trust travels through people. Beth trusts Jack, Jack trusts me, so Beth gives me five minutes. One careless, templated message can snap the link.
Side by Side: Trust grows fastest through shared experience, so add an activity, like a walk, a game or a hot sauce challenge, to plain conversation.
Manufacture Shared Experiences: A slightly intense shared experience bonds people faster than polite chat, and even an event that goes wrong becomes a story you share.
The Reputation Advantage: The internet killed the knowledge advantage and is killing the skills advantage. Reputation built through relationships is the one that survives, on top of real competence.