Instead of coffee: take a walk, go to their favorite spot, cowork, attend a talk together, or discuss one question in a small group.
The idea
The coffee meeting has become a reflex: "we should grab coffee," then 45 minutes of half-networking, half-auditioning. The relationships that end up mattering, where someone goes to bat for you or calls you first, run on genuine affinity. The format you choose matters more than you'd think, and the alternatives are about as easy to set up.
How to do it
Pick one of these instead:
A walk around the block. Side-by-side conversation is more honest, and if it goes well you just keep walking.
Their favorite spot. Ask where they like to go; people love being asked.
A coworking session. Work in parallel for an hour, then grab lunch.
A talk, comedy show or concert you both care about.
A small group discussion: three or four people around a question you're all wrestling with.
Example
I drink matcha, which already makes me the weird one at the table. The walk is my personal favorite.
Watch out for
Defaulting to coffee because it's easy. Most of these are just as easy, and more likely to leave both people wanting to stay in touch.
Side by Side: Trust grows fastest through shared experience, so add an activity, like a walk, a game or a hot sauce challenge, to plain conversation.
Avoid the Coffee-Request Trap: Instead of 'want to get coffee?', mention you'll be near them and let them invite you, or offer what you actually want to give.
The IRL vs. URL Test: Ask whether a meeting is for connection or a transaction; meet in person for the first, use video or a call for the second.
Manufacture Shared Experiences: A slightly intense shared experience bonds people faster than polite chat, and even an event that goes wrong becomes a story you share.