Let four seconds pass, use the name later, build a weird association, and when it's gone anyway, just admit it and ask.
The idea
Names are hard because they're meaningless labels. Tell someone you're a CRM founder named Zvi and they'll remember the CRM part first. It's one of the few skills where we're collectively honest about being bad. Names still matter, because remembering one tells someone they're worth remembering. A few research-backed habits help, and when they fail, honesty works.
How to do it
Listen. When you hear the name, smile and let about four seconds pass. Repeating it back right away interferes with storing it.
Use it later, in a different context. The spacing effect says memory sticks better when practice is spread out: "Jennifer, what you said about supply chain issues was fascinating."
Build an association, the weirder the better. Sarah who runs a bakery becomes "Sarah, sourdough starter."
If it's gone, say so (see Script). This is what I do most of the time.
Example
In 2025 I met someone genuinely interesting at a coffee, and within 30 seconds their name had evaporated. I spent the conversation doing mental gymnastics to avoid saying it, and I knew we'd met before. (The book cites a German study where stress right after seeing a face made it stick better, hence my joke that the fix is a deranged clown ambushing you on your way out of every coffee meeting.)
Script
"Hey, I'm genuinely awful at remembering names. Do you mind reminding me?"
Watch out for
The avoid-saying-the-name dance. People can tell. Nobody has ever said they're offended that you're not good at names; they usually laugh and admit they're bad at it too.
Show You Like Them: Lead with liking ("you matter") over utility ("you're useful to me"); use their name, ask about what they care about, and listen.
The Photo Tactic: Take a quick photo together when you meet, then send it as the first message of your follow-up.
Conference Before, During, After: Before: goal, target list, booked meetings, host a dinner. During: scribble notes. After: half a day within 48 hours to follow through.
The Four Points of Information: Four places good notes come from: where the relationship stands, where their work stands, next steps, and personal details. Keep only what you'll use.