Interactions revolve around shared objects, stories and details. Collect them and create them, because they become your reasons to connect.
The idea
Social Object Theory says every interaction revolves around something: an object, an event, an idea. Two people meeting for a meal have the meal as their social object. If they talk about last week's game, the game becomes one. Any personal detail you know about someone is a small one, because it shows a shared connection. The stronger ones are those you already have together (a school, a hometown, a field) or the ones you create together. Collect them, write them down, and make new ones when you can. They're the catalyst for the next interaction.
How to do it
Listen for the details: kids' sports, hobbies, where they grew up, what they're obsessed with.
Note anything that could become a shared social object (same school, same hometown, same field) right from the start.
Turn one into something tangible, like a small gift tied to the detail.
The meeting itself can become a social object, so meet face to face when you can.
Example
While recruiting senior leaders, I met a candidate who wasn't looking yet. On the way out we swapped weekend plans, and he mentioned his son was really into basketball. Instead of the conventional thank-you email, I shipped a basketball to his house with a short note, and the next week he introduced me to a marketing executive he'd known for more than 12 years. The barrier to showing you care is absurdly low.
CAPITAL: Investigate: The I in CAPITAL. Learn and record what matters about your key people, so you can show them you actually know them.
Manufacture Shared Experiences: A slightly intense shared experience bonds people faster than polite chat, and even an event that goes wrong becomes a story you share.
Gift as Artifact, Not Advertisement: A good gift creates shared history and reminds them of you every time they use it, so leave your logo off.
Small Talk Is Load-Bearing: Small talk builds the trust that deals run on and surfaces the personal details you'll use later. Don't skip it.