Small talk builds the trust that deals run on and surfaces the personal details you'll use later. Don't skip it.
The idea
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me small talk is a waste of time, I'd hire someone to explain the ending of LOST to me. You're probably wrong about it. We're humans talking to humans, and we want to be related to as humans. Small talk is where trust starts, and it's where you pick up the clues you'll use later: who this person is, what they value, what you might connect over, how you could be useful. People work with people they like. People first, business later.
How to do it
Don't skip it, even when you're worried about running out of time for business.
Treat each exchange as a chance to pick up clues about the person.
Grow it into medium talk with one follow-up question (see small-talk-conversions).
Share something yourself. We mirror each other, so going first gets them talking.
Capture the personal details afterward. They become social objects you can use later on.
Example
Janice Nadler, a law professor at Northwestern, ran an experiment where pairs of students had to negotiate a business agreement over email, with conflicting interests baked in. Before negotiating, half the pairs had a quick phone call just to get to know each other. Those small-talk pairs were four times as likely to reach agreement. The email-only pairs got suspicious and competitive, threatened to walk, and stalled out. One casual phone call changed the outcome.
Small-Talk Conversions: Turn traffic, weather or weekend-plans talk into a real question, like why they live where they live.
Lead by Sharing: When a conversation stalls, share something about yourself first. Volunteering information invites them to share back.
Social Objects: Interactions revolve around shared objects, stories and details. Collect them and create them, because they become your reasons to connect.
The Meeting Checklist: Review your notes, recall your intent, bring an offer, do small talk, get curious, share honestly, look for help to give, recap to-dos.