Time and Fear, the Two Universal Blockers

mindset and fear · principle

Almost every reason people don't stay in touch comes down to two things: not having time, or fear of how the outreach will land.

The idea

In coaching we ask one question over and over: what is stopping you from being more engaged with your sphere? People give long, specific lists. Sum them up and they all fall under two words: time and fear. In my coaching we called them our two biggest blockers. Part of it is wiring: we're built to prefer what pays off now, so the urgent keeps beating the important. Once you know which bucket an excuse lives in, it gets easier to come up with a simple fix.

How to do it

  1. List everything stopping you from reaching out more. I'll wait.
  2. Mark each item T (time) or F (fear).
  3. For T: put a small recurring block on your calendar and keep the task tiny. In my coaching we learned that handing people tactics was useless; most of our effort went into helping them do things consistently.
  4. For F: name the fear, then use a mantra or a trick to send anyway (see second-thought-first-action and press-send-tricks).

Example

When ChatGPT arrived, everyone asked me how it would change networking. My answer came back to these two words. In my years building relationship software, I watched plenty of clever "AI" features go mostly unused. One sorted your contacts by importance. Useful, unless you never made time to reach out or didn't know what to say. A great AI-written email does nothing if you never set aside the time, or if you hesitate to press Send.

Sources

Related frameworks

Read next

By Zvi Band. Newsletter: Your Network Starts with You. Book: Success Is in Your Sphere.