Treat prospects, colleagues and friends the same way, with genuine interest in the person behind the title and the professional facade.
The idea
People ask me how to treat prospects, colleagues and friends differently. My answer: who cares? The lines are blurred anyway, because a prospect becomes a client becomes a friend, and as the desk merged with the kitchen table, clients and colleagues started to look like community. So treat all three the same way: genuine interest in who they are beyond the label you've given them. People want to be seen as whole humans. So do you.
How to do it
With "prospects," get off the pitch. Ask what they're reading or watching.
With "colleagues," remember something personal, like the dog's name or the kid's college applications.
With "friends," ask what problems they're solving at work and who they're trying to meet.
Notice how similar those three are.
Share your real self too: your interests, struggles and failures, beyond the LinkedIn highlight reel.
Example
As a first-time founder I was pacing my office, literally sweating, before meeting a famous Sand Hill Road VC. My mentor stopped me: "You know what that person is probably thinking about right now? What they're having for lunch." Once you remember the person across the table is human, you stop performing and start connecting.
It pays off sideways too. I grabbed coffee with someone I'd met at a conference two years earlier, we spent twenty minutes debating pineapple on pizza, and by the end he'd referred three potential clients my way.
Watch out for
Seeing the whole person includes noticing what they're carrying. None of it is yours to fix, and you don't need to pry (see hidden-battle).
Intimidated? Spend 30 seconds picturing them doing something mundane, like burning toast, then drop one level of formality.
The 15% Rule: Share about 15% more than feels comfortable to crack the professional facade. People are waiting for someone else to go deeper first.
The Ego Wall: The urge to prove your worth to someone "above" you is the barrier. Picture them as an ordinary person and ask a human question.
Everyone Is Fighting a Hidden Battle: Watch for clues someone is struggling (energy shifts, avoided topics, repeated themes) and adjust how you show up, without fixing or prying.
The Grocery Store Test: If you saw them at the end of the cereal aisle, would you run over to hug them, or hide behind the Frosted Flakes?