Find the most interesting thing about someone that they don't lead with, ask about it, then ask a follow-up. Don't pivot to yourself.
The idea
Dale Carnegie, almost a century ago: to be interesting, be interested. You don't need to be witty, charming or brilliant. The people who get remembered are the ones who heard the answer, got curious and asked a follow-up question. Going deep on someone else's world means you have to stop performing, and most people aren't willing to.
How to do it
Pick one person in your next conversation.
Find the most interesting thing about them that they don't lead with. Skip the job title and look for the thing underneath.
Ask about it. Then ask a follow-up.
Don't pivot to yourself.
If they show a more vulnerable, human side, follow up on that, because that's where the good stuff is.
Example
I hosted a dinner recently and noticed one guest doing almost all the listening. On the way out, three different people pulled me aside to tell me how much they enjoyed talking to that person.
Script
When the usual work conversation comes up, ask for the story: "So what made you decide to become a vegan cheese YouTube star?"
Twelve Open Questions: Keep about a dozen open questions in your head, Feynman-style. Being interesting starts with being curious.
Highlight-of-Your-Week Openers: Swap 'How are you?' for 'What's been the highlight of your week so far?' or 'What's exciting you the most these days?'
The Presence Advantage: Presence is scarce, so it stands out: phone away, let AI take notes, listen without preparing a reply, ask one more follow-up, let pauses sit.
Small-Talk Conversions: Turn traffic, weather or weekend-plans talk into a real question, like why they live where they live.