Someone with zero curiosity about you in conversation is previewing the whole relationship; take note, and don't be that person yourself.
The idea
We all get excited and talk too much sometimes. The signal is a complete lack of curiosity about the person across the table, where every opening you offer gets redirected back to their story. It's usually a reliable preview of the relationship. Someone who shows zero interest in you over coffee is unlikely to think of you when opportunities come up, remember anything about your work or goals, put energy into your success, or engage in real give-and-take. Dale Carnegie had it right: "To be interesting, be interested."
How to do it
In early conversations, notice whether they ask you anything at all, or redirect every opening back to their own story.
Once is a yellow flag. If it happens occasionally, don't read too much into it.
If it's a pattern, take note, and keep it in mind as the relationship progresses.
Then check yourself. In your next conversation, connect as humans first with questions like "What have you been excited about lately?"
Example
A mutual contact insisted I "absolutely had to meet" someone. "They're brilliant! You'll love them!" Forty-five minutes into coffee, they were on their fourth consecutive story about their business ventures and hadn't asked me a single question, despite my multiple hints about my own parallel experiences. Maybe they were brilliant. All I could think about was how desperately I wanted the school nurse to call so I'd have to go pick up my kid.
Watch out for
The second half matters as much as the first: don't be that person yourself.
How Someone Treats Anyone: How someone treats anyone is how they'll eventually treat everyone; watch how they treat people who can't help them, and take notes.
The Follow-Up Question: Find the most interesting thing about someone that they don't lead with, ask about it, then ask a follow-up. Don't pivot to yourself.
The +2 Energy Rating: After interactions, rate how you feel from -2 to +2, rate three standouts each day, and give more of your time to the +2s.
The Meeting Checklist: Review your notes, recall your intent, bring an offer, do small talk, get curious, share honestly, look for help to give, recap to-dos.