Review your notes, recall your intent, bring an offer, do small talk, get curious, share honestly, look for help to give, recap to-dos.
The idea
Picture a Zoom with a former client you haven't talked to in a year. What was she working on again? How is she doing? What should we talk about? Losing touch is natural. A little prep before the call helps deepen the relationship, and they'll think you're a superhero for remembering so much. (Alan Smith suggested the topic.)
How to do it
Review what you know: notes from last time, when you last saw each other, their recent posts.
Remind yourself why you're meeting. If business might come up, bring a generous offer.
Start with small talk. Don't skip it.
Get curious about them as humans before anything transactional: "How are you feeling about your current job?" "How are you doing health-wise?"
Share about your life too, including how you're really feeling. It shows them how they can help you.
Ask what they're working on, and listen for openings: Who do I know? What have I read? How can I support them in the coming months?
Close by recapping your to-dos out loud.
Example
The post's example of a close: "Becky, it was so lovely to catch up! I wrote down three things I promise to follow up on. First, I'll ask my friend who recently exited his company if he's looking to join your team. Second, I'll send you that book on weight training that's kept me in shape. Third, I'll check whether two friends from SXSW still live in London, and if so, introduce you so you have some new friends in the UK."
Watch out for
If they never ask anything about you, that's a yellow flag. If it happens occasionally, don't read too much into it, but keep it in mind.
Don't lead with work or try to close a deal. If business comes up, feel free to talk about it.
Relatable: Step one is a lot easier when your notes live on the person. That's one of the core reasons we built Relatable, though any notes file you'll actually open before a call works. How-to: Manage a contact's profile.
Related frameworks
The Coffee Meeting Questions: Run coffee meetings on two questions: what are you working on, and what's your biggest challenge? Then make a specific offer.
Red Flag: They Only Talk About Themselves: Someone with zero curiosity about you in conversation is previewing the whole relationship; take note, and don't be that person yourself.
Small Talk Is Load-Bearing: Small talk builds the trust that deals run on and surfaces the personal details you'll use later. Don't skip it.
The Agenda Opener: Open social meetings with 'What I'd love to talk about today is...' to nudge a catch-up toward something meaningful.