Ask 'What's the most exciting thing going on for you right now?' instead, and try a whole evening without 'What do you do?'
The idea
"So, what do you do?" turns two people into two LinkedIn profiles saying hi out loud. They answer, you nod, you say yours, and you both look for an exit. The question quietly sorts people into useful and not useful, and many people have jobs that are hard to explain, are in transition, or aren't defined by what they do for money. Ask something open instead, and listen to the answer.
How to do it
Ask "What's the most exciting thing going on for you right now?" They can take it to work, a side project or something they just read.
Or lead with yourself and share something, which gives them a few on-ramps to pick from.
Use context if you have it: "I heard you mention X earlier." It shows you were paying attention.
When work does come up, ask "What excites you most about your work?"
At your next event, try going the whole night without asking anyone what they do.
Example
Think about the conversations you remember from networking events. They almost never started with a title exchange. They started because someone asked something unexpected and listened to the answer.
Script
"What's the most exciting thing going on for you right now?"
"I just got back from X and I'm still processing it."
"What would you pursue if nothing stood in your way?"
Highlight-of-Your-Week Openers: Swap 'How are you?' for 'What's been the highlight of your week so far?' or 'What's exciting you the most these days?'
The Follow-Up Question: Find the most interesting thing about someone that they don't lead with, ask about it, then ask a follow-up. Don't pivot to yourself.
See Who They Could Become: Engage people for who they could become, beyond their current title: ask about strengths their role doesn't use, and back that direction.
Lead by Sharing: When a conversation stalls, share something about yourself first. Volunteering information invites them to share back.