When a conversation stalls, share something about yourself first. Volunteering information invites them to share back.
The idea
Not everyone is an open book, and that's OK. When your questions keep getting "Oh, not much," stop asking and answer the question yourself. We tend to mirror each other, so volunteering something specific sets a norm and nudges them to reciprocate. It also takes the pressure off: instead of an interrogation, they get a few on-ramps and pick whichever one interests them. It won't work every time, but it's a solid Plan B.
How to do it
When a question lands flat, answer it yourself with something specific.
Swap the one-word "Good" or "Busy!" for something real: what you listened to on the way over, the book you're reading, what's exciting you at work.
It doesn't have to be sunshine. Something small that shows your life isn't perfect works best.
When they respond, ask about them in return.
Example
The book walks through an exchange like this. I ask what someone and their family are doing this weekend and get "Oh, not much." So I volunteer our own plan (Power Rangers on Ice, with our daughter) and joke about the screaming kids. They laugh and ask about our kids, and within a minute I've learned they're parents of two young kids with a hockey game and a ballet recital that weekend.
Script
"I just got back from X and I'm still processing it."
"I'm doing great, but I stubbed my toe this morning and it feels like it's gonna fall off!"
The 15% Rule: Share about 15% more than feels comfortable to crack the professional facade. People are waiting for someone else to go deeper first.
Small Talk Is Load-Bearing: Small talk builds the trust that deals run on and surfaces the personal details you'll use later. Don't skip it.
Replace "What Do You Do?": Ask 'What's the most exciting thing going on for you right now?' instead, and try a whole evening without 'What do you do?'
The Follow-Up Question: Find the most interesting thing about someone that they don't lead with, ask about it, then ask a follow-up. Don't pivot to yourself.