Plan any goal through three lenses: the habit that makes it repeat, the tactic that executes it, and how doing it will make you feel.
The idea
Every weekly topic in my coaching programs ran through the same three lenses. Habits are what make the thing repeat, the part that beats behavioral blockers. Tactics are the specific, simple steps you take: organizing your database, reaching out, taking care of yourself. Happiness is how executing it makes you feel, and why that feeling matters. The goal each week was to end it feeling good, productive and in control.
How to do it
Pick one goal for your relationships, or your life.
Write a Habit line: when and how often you'll do it.
Write a Tactic line: the concrete step or help you'll use.
Write a Happiness line: how you'll feel when it's working.
Keep tactics simple enough that doing one leaves you feeling accomplished. Prove you can do one thing before you plan twenty.
Example
A sample from our worksheets, for health: Habit, "Every Sunday, I will take 15 minutes to plan and schedule my workouts and my meals for the week." Tactic, "I will hire a personal trainer to help me work out twice a week and create consistency." Happiness, "When my body feels healthy, strong and rested, I will be happier and feel more fulfilled." Our reset session used the same frame: Tactic, "I will be aware of what externalities come my way, and when that'll change." Habit, "I will restart from the basics when needed." Happiness, "I will feel happy making ANY progress."
Watch out for
Overcomplicating the tactic. Our presenter note: you will want to make things more difficult than they need to be, and that's totally normal. Keep it simple anyway.
Sources
From Zvi's coaching program
Related frameworks
The Core Six Habits: A weekly operating system: organize 10 contacts, 3 scrollbacks, protect CEO time, 1 A outreach, 5 B outreaches, 2 fringe outreaches.
The Habit-Building Recipe: Name the habit, make it tiny, ramp up slowly, calendar it, anchor it, add a carrot or stick, and get someone to hold you accountable.
Awareness, Intention, Practice, Results: Notice what's happening, decide what you want, practice small actions, then measure results in both business and happiness.
Simple Systems Win: The tactic that works is almost always tiny and simple, and simple still takes consistent effort. Remove things before adding them.